Lesson 4: These thoughts do not mean anything

Today we're on Lesson 4 of the workbook of A Course In Miracles. I'm really grateful for the support I'm being given through A Course In Miracles with Lisa Natoli - pointing out all the pitfalls I fall into and knowing perfectly what I do with these lessons and the mind training exercised is really helpful. As I do Lisa said she used to reach Lesson 50 and say to herself, "I don't understand these lessons, I don't know what they're saying, I haven't had an experience, I'll have to go back to the beginning and start again " and also the thoughts that say,"It's ok to do more than he's told me to do , I have some experience so it will be ok for me to do more and if I do more, I'll get better results and faster results."


She's telling me this is what she did and why it didn't work until she began to follow the instructions to the letter as written page by page and to do no more, no less and to let the introductory pointers stand - Practice with great specificity as indicated, do not decide there's some people, places, events, situations, things the lessons are not applicable to, no matter what my reaction to the lesson is , apply it as directed and be sure I need NOT believe the ideas, I need not accept them , nor welcome them, I may actively resist them and they will still work as long as I apply them as directed. What ever happens I am to do them as directed making no exceptions.


I feel a sense of committment - a sense of readiness and willingness happening this year as I apply the lessons. Without the support given through Lisa's experience and encouragement on http://www.talkshoe.com/talkshoe/web/talkCast.jsp?masterId=11987&cmd=tc and also the Ken Wapnick commentaries in Journey Through the Workbook posted on http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Course_Talk/?yguid=154484477 each day, I don't know how I would be doing. This way there's a sense I'm not alone and I'm being guided to go deeper. As I've done the lessons there seems to be sense of something else happening even though there's a feeling of resistance and depression hanging around at the moment. There's been some very vivid night dreams with a sense of light behind them despite a lot of discomfort and emotional intensity.

I'm pretty much operating from fear all the time at present and a sense of lack and deprivation - as we journey further into the workbook and apply the lessons, this will turn around and I will experience the miracles and learn to see a world where only love exists. I am determined to learn or unlearn the thought system I have been using and I am determined to use the help given me through my brothers who are willing to help me learn this lesson along with them.

Thankyou.